Lessons I Learned in My 20s
Throughout this decade, I’ve learned and experienced so much. Were there things I shouldn’t have done? Absolutely. Are there things I wish I had known earlier? Of course. But with each passing year—20, 21, 22, 23, and beyond—I discovered something new about myself. Whether it was personal growth, a shift in perspective, or simply learning how to navigate life, my twenties have been a journey of self-discovery.
1. Know Your Worth
This applies to every aspect of life—friendships, relationships, work, and beyond. People will try to literally and metaphorically lowball you. But when you truly know your worth, you can spot the nonsense from a mile away.
When you have a strong sense of self-worth, you exude confidence—people can sense it. More importantly, you won’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.
This phrase gets thrown around a lot on social media, but it wasn’t until I experienced certain situations that I truly understood its meaning. These experiences forced me to reflect. Why was I allowing certain things to happen? If you have a standard for friendships, relationships, or your work environment—stick to it. Often, we end up in situations that test our self-worth simply because we fail to uphold our standards. Then, we find ourselves picking up the pieces, wishing we had trusted our instincts from the start.
2. Don’t Try to Understand Everything
One thing most 20-year-olds do? Overanalyze. We obsess over why X happened when we followed plan A, B, and C to perfection.
We waste so much time dwelling on outcomes we’ve created in our minds, forgetting that not everything is meant to be understood. Some things—both good and bad—happen to push us closer to our endgame, our ultimate life goals.
When things don’t go as planned, remember this:
Sometimes, someone else needed that opportunity more than you (e.g., the job you didn’t get).
Sometimes, the outcome wasn’t in alignment with your long-term aspirations (meaning, you dodged a missile).
This realization applies especially to relationships and jobs. If a job rejects you, reframe your mindset—something better is coming. If a relationship ends, don’t waste energy trying to rationalize it. You’ll only create false narratives in your mind. Keep moving forward—your perfect match is on the way.
3. Be Open to a New Career Path
If someone had told me years ago what my career trajectory would look like now, I probably would’ve fainted.
Think back to what you said you wanted to be when you grew up. Then fast-forward to 18, 23, and beyond.
For me, I wanted to be a supermodel gracing international magazine covers (low-key still a dream of mine). Then I wanted to be a fashion designer. Then a psychiatrist. Then an archaeologist. Fast-forward: I started in healthcare and recently transitioned into tech (yes, I’m a geek—don’t let the modeling fool you).
The point? You never really know where your career will take you. Interests evolve, opportunities arise, and the best thing you can do is stay open to new possibilities.
4. Just Do It, Love
Are you a planner? Or do you find yourself lounging around, saying you’ll do something but never actually taking action?
Either way—whether you over-plan or procrastinate—the truth is, sometimes the only thing holding us back is ourselves.
Our mindset, our excuses, our lack of drive—these are the barriers we place in front of our own success. Life is too short to ignore what your heart is telling you to do.
And if it doesn’t work out? At least you won’t have regret whispering “I told you so” in your ear.
5. Enjoy Dating
Do you have an ideal partner in mind? Have you ever romanticized the perfect relationship, only to realize reality looks nothing like your expectations?
Welcome to dating.
All jokes aside—date around (if you have the emotional maturity and mental capacity to do so). Go on dates without pressuring yourself to envision a future with someone you’ve just met. Some dates might turn into friendships, business connections, or even relationships—but go in with an open mind.
Many of us stress over first dates and the idea of dating in general. But the best relationships happen when you can be your wholehearted self—when conversation flows and nothing feels forced. If you’re not feeling that with the person you’re dating? It probably won’t work out long-term.
6. Journal Your Thoughts
Journaling isn’t just about writing—it’s about self-reflection.
It’s been proven to improve mental health, help process emotions, and serve as a way to document both struggles and successes. Writing things down allows you to see your personal growth over time.
Record everything—the roadblocks, the wins, even how happy a simple cup of coffee made you feel. One day, you’ll look back and appreciate the journey.
7. The Only Person Getting in the Way of Your Success Is You
Competition? With someone else? Let that go.
Success isn’t a race. But social media makes it easy to feel like we’re falling behind.
Remember these three things:
Everyone has their own season to shine.
You never know how much effort someone put in to achieve their success.
Envy is counterproductive—it can actually block your own blessings.
At the end of the day, you are your biggest competition. Mastering this mindset in your twenties can eliminate a lot of unnecessary stress.
8. Unplug from Social Media
Most of us grew up in the digital era, and social media remains a huge part of our lives. But it’s also full of noise and misinformation.
Looking back, I wish I had spent more time off social media. Studies show that we remember experiences better when we’re not constantly documenting them.
Take breaks. Live in the moment.
9. Not Every Situation Deserves a Reaction
Your twenties will present plenty of situations that will test you. But how you choose to react is entirely up to you.
Not everything requires a response. And if you do choose to react, do so with emotional intelligence. Being the bigger person often earns you more respect in the long run.
People remember how you handle adversity—make sure your actions reflect the person you want to be.
10. Live in the Moment
This might be the most important lesson of all.
We live in a world of sensory overload, constantly planning our next move—our days, months, even years. But in doing so, we sometimes forget to simply be present.
Enjoy the highs. Embrace the lows. But most importantly, live in the moment—because those are the memories that will truly last.